Still preggo . . .

Although I wasn't sure there for a while yesterday. :-) Apparently, there's a human head stuck in my crotch--which makes it very difficult to walk all of the sudden. I felt very strange last night and had to be very, very careful turning over in bed. At this point I would be suprised to make it through the weekend.

Dumped again!

The Bad News:

This is what I posted to one of my listservs on Tuesday . . .

So, after being told by my OB (during an exam) that I needed to find another doctor, then switching to a birth center which closed during my third trimester, and finding out in my last month that my insurance won't cover my birth, I've now been dumped by my labor coach ten days from my due date--via email! She's a friend who's also a massage therapist. I've always paid her for massages and when she lost her regular job last month, I offered to pay her to help me with some office work for my business. I guess putting finances into the relationship was a huge mistake, because she sent me an email this evening that she didn't think she'd be able to help me during my birth unless I paid her--by the hour! I'm still in shock--and worried not only about my birth, but about the days afterwards when she was supposed to be helping me out. While I'd love to take a few days to wallow in my personal pity party, I have anywhere from 0 to 17 days (assuming the midwife would let me go about a week over before talking induction) to figure out a plan of action. I'm going to immediately stop taking the evening primrose oiland red raspberry leaf tea. :-) . . .

The Good News:

I've gotten lots of good advice and offers of help. It's amazing how helpful complete strangers can be when the people you think are your friends let you down.

More Good News:

I had my 39 week appointment with my midwives today and the baby has dropped! It's all downhill from here . . .

Research, people!

Someone once compared giving birth to running a marathon. That analogy works on many different levels, but especially when it comes to preparation. Too many women sit on their couches for nine months then jump up one morning and try to run 50 miles in a pair of new shoes.

When it comes to mental preparation, most women seem to be even lazier. Instead of doing research, reading books, even just searching the Internet, they seem content to passively receive information from whoever is standing closest to them at any given moment and base life-changing decisions on that scant anecdotal evidence.

This morning I was reading a post on one of my baby boards (I really need to start avoiding these things) from a woman who decided that homebirth was unsafe after the experiences of her two friends. The first friend hemorrhaged due to placenta accreta and the second's baby was oxygen-deprived due to shoulder dystocia.

Now, I have three problems with her conclusion. The first problem is that it's based on a sampling of TWO. But let's ignore that for the moment. The more important issues are that first, both of the problems described are linked to hospital births and, second, can be treated just as effectively by a midwife at a homebirth. In other words, they would have been less likely to have problems at home and even if they did, would have not been in any greater danger!

Placenta Accreta is a condition where the placenta grows too deeply into the uterine wall to release easily. Since OB's in the hospital have a bad habit of yanking on the umbilical cord to dislodge the placenta, this can cause hemorrhaging. Midwives generally frown on this practice for exactly this reason. This yanking (or providing "traction") can also cause the placenta to break apart. Regardless, the treatment for hemorrhaging after birth for any reason is a shot of pitocin, which midwives carry with them.

Shoulder Dystocia, according to a study by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists in 2002, is most often caused by the OB's two favorite tools, the vacuum extractor and forceps, making it much less likely to occur during a homebirth. Even if it does, midwives have oxygen and resuscitation equipment on hand--the same equipment that would be used in the hospital. In fact, my midwife gave me an oxygen tank to keep at my house when I turned 36 weeks. In addition, the procedures that midwives use to treat shoulder dystocia are actually less invasive. An OB will try an internal maneuver before simply letting the mother change position--which can be just as effective.

Since deciding to give birth to my child at home, I've gone through a series of reactions to people's questions. In the beginning I felt that I had to defend my decision and would bombard nay-sayers with the tons of research I'd done. Finally, I got tired of being questioned repeatedly--even after giving my reasons--and became angry and frustrated with what I perceived as a lack of respect for my right to make my own decisions. But now, I'm just saddened by what I see as a real lack of education on such an important topic. We make fun of politicians who don't know the difference between a Suni and a Shiite, but what do you do with women who don't bother to find out what's happening (or being done) to their own bodies?

I've led a sheltered life

Seriously, I've spent the majority of my life around highly educated and intelligent people. I was in small, advanced classes at school, went to good colleges, graduate schools, and worked at places that attracted intelligent people. The end result is that sometimes I am absolutely shocked by the stupidity--or often just lack of education--exhibited by the average American.

Case in point: the BabyCenter bulletin boards. While the homebirth and natural birth boards aren't too bad, the July 2007 board is at times unbelievably frustrating. These women have not read any books or done any research--even online. They ask the same questions over and over again--often questions that can make the difference between a healthy baby and a long NICU stay.

Have I mentioned . . .

. . . how happy I am that I'm having a girl? My little dog took the opportunity last night to remind me. He became so excited while humping my cat that I rushed him to the vet--thinking that he had somehow got a golf ball stuck up his penis. I now know more about male canine anatomy than I ever wanted to. :-(

Oh, well. At least everyone at the vet's office got a good laugh out of it.

Of all the things I've lost . . .

I miss my mind the most.

Be careful what you wish for . . .

Perhaps the most annoying part of the last nine months has been my constant clumsiness. I've lost track of how many eggs I've dropped. :-(

This morning I picked up a bottle of water to take a drink and I fumbled the cap. Bitching and moaning, I looked on the floor to where I thought it had dropped. No cap. As my eye sweeps the floor, I spot the cap--sitting on my belly, nice as could be! I laughed until I had to pee (which actually isn't as impressive as it used to be).

Oh, well. At least I didn't drop it. :-)

Doctors suck.

And, I hate to say it, it seems like some midwives do, too. I can't help but wonder why that is. They aren't all men, so as much as I would like to blame the insensitivity and power trips on that irritating Y chromosome, that can't be the only answer. Is it the power itself? What is absolute power if not the power (or illusion of it, at least) over life and death? And as we all know, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I've put myself into a good position to have this child on my own terms, in my own time, but every time I read a BabyCenter or Mothering.com board I am appalled at how these women are being treated (more often that not, it seems) by their providers.

A Dream Birth . . . Literally

All of the pregnancy books tell you to visualize the birth you want to have and I guess I've been doing that a little too often lately, because last night I had this totally detailed dream of my baby's birth. I was standing in my bathroom early in the morning, getting ready to get into or out of the shower and my water broke. I reached down and part of the cord had prolapsed so I pushed it up as I lowered myself to my knees and I could feel the baby's head with the tips of my fingers. There was a tiny lip of cervix around her head and I pushed it back without thinking and her head slipped down. At that point I realized that I couldn't get up or move because I was afraid to hurt her so I had no choice but to deliver her. I pushed once and her head was out all of the way. I pushed again and she slithered out into my hands. She was still attached to the cord, so I kind of hobbled out of the bathroom and over to my bed. I was thinking of trying to get the phone in the living room, but the cord was too short to stand up straight and I wasn't very steady on my feet, so I just laid on the bed and decided to wait for the placenta. I must have delivered the placenta and wrapped in a blanket, because then I had the phone and I called the midwife and told her I'd had the baby. When I woke up I was almost disappointed that it wasn't already over.

Should I feel guilty?

I haven't thrown up. I don't have stretch marks. My ankles are the same size they've always been (although I think my feet are bigger?). It seems like every pregnant or previously pregnant woman I know has a laundry list of complaints that have somehow passed me by. Should I feel guilty? Or should I be worried that I'll pay for all of this good luck at some point in the not too distant future?

I can't help but make a correlation between how women feel during their pregnancies and how their actual births turn out. The same women who tell me how miserable they were when pregnant then go on to relate their delivery room horror stories. When I tell them that I'm planning a medication-free birth in my own bedroom, they either laugh at me (and not in a nice way) or get angry. Am I as clueless as they think or am I justified in believing that since my experience has been so different from theirs so far that it will continue to be?

Time will tell . . . 27 days and counting.

Yes, I am hormonal.

I've been pretty even-keeled throughout this pregnancy--more so than usual, to be honest. Today, however, the hormones are definitely on the rampage. I found out that my insurance isn't paying any of my maternity costs (and is "pulling" payments already submitted over the last eight months) and burst into tears. I started calling some of my clients who owe me money, and found out that one of them has had an aneurysm and is not expected to recover. His business is being closed down, etc. and I'm probably not going to get paid. I've been trying to sell a piece of furniture on Craigslist. I decided yesterday that I was sick of waiting and just needed it gone (part of the whole nesting thing) so I put it on freecycle. Someone was supposed to pick it up by 5pm. They emailed at 5:15 to say they weren't coming. And to top it all off, it looks like I may not be able to attend the event I was looking forward this weekend. I'm basically ready to go lay in the bed and cry myself to sleep. In fact, that sounds like a plan. Good night.

How fast can a pregnant lady move?

Well, it depends how big the spider is that's moving toward her on the couch. If the spider is bigger than a nickle--the answer is pretty damn fast!